Two months ago I commented on the absurd press releases issued by Royal Caribbean Cruises in an article "Royal Caribbean Press Statements And Other Gobbledygook."
Well here we go again!
Yesterday Royal Caribbean released a PR statement entitled "Over-Worked Americans Give Up an Average of 459 Million Vacation Days Each Year." Royal Caribbean points out that most Americans are "over-worked, over-tired and stressed-out." I agree, this sound like my law office.
In response, Royal Caribbean suggests that a cruise will solve everything. The cruise line tries to relate to the average Joe by reminding him " . . . if the President of the United States, who just returned from a respite on Martha's Vineyard, can still find time, then shouldn't everyone?"
Yikes. I can just see an employee, struggling to pay the house mortgage and car note, telling his boss - I'm going spend a few thousands of dollars and chill out on a cruise with my family. See ya later!
The cruise line's marketing people even came up with a catchy phrase - "Cruise Them Or Lose Them."
The cruise line claims that vacations reduce the chances that a woman will suffer depression by 50% and reduce a man's risk of suffering a heart attack by 32%. Maybe the marketing slogan should have been even more straight forward: "Cruise Or Lose Your Life!"
Now, this strikes me as some pretty desperate marketing. Take a cruise or you are going to have a stroke? How exactly is a week long drinking binge and all-you-can-eat buffets on a cruise ship going to avoid a coronary?
But this is the "Nation of Why Not?" So ladies throw away your Paxil and gentlemen flush your Lipitor down the drain. All you need is a Royal Caribbean cruise.
You can have your heart attack when you get back to work.